Failure comes in many different forms. Failure can be an idea and a theory that doesn’t quite work out right, and it might be that the replacement idea doesn’t work much better.
It might be that you don’t really want to achieve something, so when you don’t really achieve it, you are ok with that.
But then there is that type of failure that leaves the bitter taste in your mouth, that burns so hot that you must expunge it from your mouth immediately. The type of failure that leads to anger that no one but you could understand, and an anger that only you can appreciate. An anger that leads you to action that does not tolerate failure, and an anger that burns so intensely that you could lose sleep by repeating what you have failed over and over and over, even if it takes days for you to succeed. Few know this type of anger. Those are the types of people that achieve greatness.
Failure. Is. Absolutely. Unacceptable.
People that tell you otherwise will not improve your life, they will not solve any problems, they will not contribute anything to logic, they will not change the world on a large scale, they do not know what true love and passion means. They do not know what true caring means: what true love means in the sense that you would sacrifice everything that you have in order to succeed, even though they sing empty praises about love usually in opposition to such concepts as passion, although they rally behind that one as well.
They don’t understand passion.
They understand hobbies.
They understand “That’s cute, play with it until you’re bored. And then move on to something different.”
They do not understand the haunting passion of desiring knowledge, of creating something life-changing on scales unseen before, of changing the world for the better, of doing something that seemed impossible, of failing and failing and failing and driving to get it done anyway, until hopefully, one day, you have succeeded in exactly what you set out to do. It does not matter that there is a chance that you will never make it: you do it anyway, because that’s what you want to do. That is your passion. Success is your passion. Only the dumbest of the world need to be told that they can’t succeed every time. Successful people know this better than any motivational speaker in the world, because they did fail. They failed and they failed and they failed, and they didn’t say “Well, at least I tried.” No, they fucking continued. It didn’t matter that they failed because they didn’t keep pointing it out. They didn’t need someone telling them that it was ok: they didn’t accept failure and they would not stop until they succeeded. Every accomplishment in the world, you can thank because of someone like that. If all of the world was full of motivational speakers, everyone would feel good, but nothing would get done. The people that get things done are the people like me: the people that sit on problems and think and think and think, and do not accept failure for an answer. Those are the people that actually accomplish something so instead of listening to these motivational speakers try to give your life meaning, just want to succeed at something. Anything. You will fail, eventually. It is true. And you can, if you wish, say “at least I tried.” But for the rest of us, that is laziness. That is despicable. That is a way to never improve anything in the world: to never change it. To never do anything higher for the world. To never do anything that means anything. Sure, I’m not failing. But what am I doing. I can solve elementary school math all day long and never fail. I do not care about complacency. If your complacency is to never take a risk, fine. But I will not sit here and be complacent with my own ignorance about the world, with my own failing of meeting my own desires and accomplishments, with my own complacency with my results when I’m not happy, with not trying to improve, with not using this anger to get everything done that I want to get done, I will not be complacent with other people’s attitudes that are either too afraid to go out and do something or they have different values than me, I will not sit here and do what I’m told to do if I know I can do better than that. If I do not live up to my standards, then that is unacceptable and I will not stop even if it kills me. I would rather die trying to succeed than to live in complacency. I would rather do something that has the potential, the potential to be great in the eyes of history rather than to be a forgotten footnote. You will think that I am doing it for pride, but that is because you don’t understand what passion is and you would be best served if you stopped giving lectures about it.
November 20, 2013.