I want to show you the darkness that is inside of you.
There is nothing I hate worse than people with things hidden in the closet trying to give others “moral advice.”
I’m going to leave all of my dirty laundry out there for people to make their own decisions, but I am going to open up every truthful wound, expose every controversy that everyone wants to think but is too afraid to say, basically say every piece of truth that I feel in my mind that people try to deny because that’s just the kind of guy I am.
That’s why I wrote about a murdering rapist scatophiliac in such detail: because people are in denial. And still yet, they spread delusions, such as I am the type of character that I write. That is simply unacceptable.
It is unacceptable for prideful, unintelligent people to dictate to me and everyone else what reality is. I’ll show you reality.
My mind is one that it likes to bring things down to their most ultimate logicality. “It doesn’t get anymore truthful than this.” I see things that other people don’t see. I say things that other people wouldn’t think to say. I piece things together that most couldn’t even dream of.
I am a very smart person. I have denied this and denied this to appeal to my “moral superiors” who would preach to me about pride and Hell, but I started to notice I had problems because of this. Such as feeling guilty for my natural abilities, feeling guilty for my intelligence, fearing Hell because of “pride”, etc. etc., all things that I talked to other people to get help from.
I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to be hated. In fact, it is actually a freeing thing. “Mom, Dad, I’m gay.” “I still love him, Mom.” Basically put in anything that would make you hated and you will feel better because of it. So people despising what I say is of no consequence to me.
Sure, I used to be a kid that was taught to never make people mad because it was a sin to make people mad, but over the years I have learned that what I want is more important than that. And so, my journey begins.
I do not care that you are not capable of thinking like I think. I have often felt pity for you, and tried to “not be so smart” around you, but now I’m starting to think “Go fuck yourself.” If I am supposed to be who I am, regardless of who I am, then logic (my favorite!) dictates that I must be smart even though you will say nasty things about me. Big whoop. Who cares.
Being hated is the most marvelous feeling in the world. People should try it sometime.
Fakeness is simply unacceptable to me. Making other people feel miserable with your moral advice is unacceptable to me. I will tear that to shreds as much as possible. This is such a big issue to me because I know the pain that someone can feel from “moral superiors” and I’m here to tell you that that is the biggest crock of shit ever conceived of. “It’s good for you anyway.” Buddy, you don’t understand one thing about God’s love, and I’m sorry about that, but I will not sit back and let you spread such destructive lies. Either shut up or go burn in Hell.
My biggest pet peeve is anything fake. I will call out anything and everything that is inconsistent. Anything that is illogical. If you disagree with me, fine, disprove it. My purpose is not to gain up a large following to agree with me, despite what will be said. This is all for me. I’m a selfish bastard, you know, and this expression is what I need for mental health. If you don’t understand it, great. Good for you. Too bad. I’m sorry that you don’t understand the need and desire to be expressive, but that doesn’t mean that I agree with you. I have to do this. The only way you could understand is if you had my brain, and because that will never happen, I guess you’ll just have to sit over there and not understand. But this is about me, and if you hate me because of who I am: good. I’m proving all of these little points that you go and wave your flag about to anyone and everyone.
We’re all hypocrites: I expose you, you expose me.
This is the way the world has to work.
December 16, 2013.