I always get “Sandy Hook” and a “rusty hook” confused.

Therefore, I was lucky to escape with my life after an eavesdropper brandished a weapon after I stuck my finger in my friend’s mouth while he was sleeping, which woke him up with a start and caused him to produce a “What the fuck was that?!” exclamation, followed by lots of air spitting, to which my reply was “A Sandy Hook.”

I’ve learned my lesson.

Avoid hooked, one-legged, eyepatch and skull-and-crossbone-on-a-funny-hat wearing men at a bar who really enjoy children (and not in the Jerry Sandusky sense).