“The Glow”

It is often speculated
If one is born a monster
Or is developed into one

My gut,
For what it’s worth,
Tells me both

But the glow in me
Has dimmed down over the years,
Afraid to show it’s shining face once again

I believe that I was born with the glow
But it was dimmed all too soon

I was cheated of the glow
And I lived in the dark for many, many years
And the darkness
Hardens your heart
And makes you wonder
If you have actually become a monster

So you tell yourself you are a monster
And you do monstrous things
But it doesn’t feel good
It doesn’t feel like YOU
You don’t feel like a monster…

But, there’s still no glow
It is gone
A forgotten memory
A missed chance
A cheated opportunity
Never to be recovered again…

Some may decide to let the depressing darkness engulf them
And rest in it
But I want a different glow

I can never recover the glow lost
But I want to grow a new one
I want to make my OWN glow
Since mine was taken away from me oh so long ago…

But with great glow comes great danger
For the glow could grow too hot, and burn me
And oh, how I HATE to be burned…

But can I continue to let the darkness live forever?
Where is the glow that I so long for?
And who shall be the keeper of my flame?

Will the fire drown me in tears?
Shred my heart into an inescapable chasm?
What does the future hold, besides my heart, and my fate?

The fire glows in response to the glow
Looking to strike it’s vengeful blow
But whoa,
You know it so
The power isn’t worth the everlasting woe

And yet, is it so?
How do you know
If you don’t give it a go?

…I don’t know…

They say you should forgive and forget,
And yet,
They also say a lot of OTHER stupid things…

I guess for me
The key
Is to be
What I wish to be
And see
How I feel after a time

But for now
I suppose I’ll settle
For a rhyme
And a ponderance
And growing my glow
Waiting to show
To who? God only knows…
_________________________________________________________________

Love.

Insightful.

My poetry.

“The Grip”.

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