Muslims No Longer Followers of Quran – The Garlic Journal

QUEBEC, CANADA – Citing the recent incident of Muslim-on-Muslim violence in the area, prominent Muslim figures in Quebec gathered to proclaim that they were no longer Muslim. “Because so many Muslims are carrying out Jihad, as required by the Quran, I am encouraging all to stop following the Quran,” said one such religious authority. “Clearly, the metaphors are lost, and people are interpreting our text too seriously. I mean, can you imagine if Christians ate flesh and drank blood?” Many locals condemned the previously religious messenger as being “too extreme” and “racist”. When pressed for comment, he responded “They are bat shit crazy,” before being shot in the forehead with an AK-47 by a brown-skin, bearded gentleman screaming “Allahu akbar!” The shooter declined to be interviewed, as he was shot by local police. One young woman, upon witnessing an explosion nearby, was caught by our microphones exclaiming “What a beautiful fireworks show!”

The Religion of Peace.

Trump parody 1.

Trump parody 2.

Offend the Fuck Out of People.

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