Let me tell you how I think the game of baseball started.
Some guy threw a rock at some other guy.
The other guy was pissed, and the first guy said “Take that stick and try to hit it back at me.”
The second guy said “Ok”, and then proceeded to get hit with the rock again.
Well, this time, he had a stick, so he proceeded to beat the shit out of the first guy with the stick.
Then the first guy said “Alright, alright. Let’s be civilized.” And they both knew that throwing rocks and hitting rocks was fun, so they came up with rules.
And that’s why the rules of baseball seem so weird: because it was a game constructed simply to keep men from killing each other due to having too much fun with balls and sticks.
…And don’t most rules come for that very reason?
Everyone knows you aren’t dating, because they have the fucking team’s logo on their chest, and have giant, goddamn plastic pom-poms (and I AIN’T talkin’ about her boobs! <3), and you can’t grab any good bits (because that’s rape. Duh), and you aren’t going to get any casual sex or the girl’s phone number or anything. I mean, are people that fucking desperate for attention from an attractive girl? Or are they that desperate to seem masculine in front of their friends that they want to show off themselves in a picture with a sexy woman?
I hate it when NFL broadcasters say that “Steelers fans travel well.”
You know DAMN well that all of those fans don’t travel from Pittsburgh.
Hell, most of them don’t even travel from PENNSYLVANIA.
You know that most of those Steelers fans in the Georgia Dome have lived in Georgia their ENTIRE fucking lives.