Tag Archives: Convictions

“The Sea of Colors”

Vex not Thou the Poet's Mind

I wished to understand life.

So,
holding the chisel that
every thinker holds,
I scribbled,
engraved,
and bled,
my thoughts onto future runes.

Yet one day,
I pushed the piercing pencil too hard,
aimed poorly,
and accidentally
cracked my skull.

And then I saw:
I was drowning in a sea of colors,
a liquid rainbow that
makes up our minds even
as it causes them to
split apart.

My hands reached for sanity,
some calming life-buoy,
admist the voices.
Oh the many voices!
The perpetual pleas and furious roars,
the angelic solos and demonic dirges,
the stubborn encouragements and somber warnings
that clash like sword strikes without
and from within.

Then I heard a shout ring
inside the dark canopy:

“MAKE YOUR CHOICE, SAGE!”

I saw a long chalk white canoe floating,
white as light,
white as hope,
its glowing oars bearing
the handprints of past men of faith,
whether…

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My working conflict…

I create work that I want to create.

I don’t create work simply for other people’s enjoyment.

If it weren’t for money, I wouldn’t care what anyone thinks of my work AT ALL, but yet, this does not change my work, either, because I do whatever want to do.

So as far as other people are concerned, I only care about money.

I’m happy with everything else.

But how do you reconcile not caring about fans, but caring about money, which is a direct result of fans?

You have to be pretty damn talented and lucky.

I know I’m talented…

And my heart is optimistic about my luck…

So if I don’t care about what my fans think about my work (except for “Thanks”) as far as input is concerned, then what does this mean?

I suppose this simply means that I am internally motivated, and that “money” is what I’m looking for from my audience, as verbal praise makes me uncomfortable enough to stop sharing.

Money is worth a lot more than praise to me…

Praise is good, but I don’t want to write just to get praise, nor do I want to swim in it.

A general feeling of thankfulness will suffice, as well as all of the money they will give me, and then I can get back to work on what I want to do.

I suppose that solves all of these quandaries besides actually getting the money itself…

I suppose luck, as fate would have it, will dictate the course of my financial status, as my whims will be what dictate the course of my expressive creativity, and I never want to create something solely to get paid, without getting some kind of psychic pleasure from my visions, and creating them, and then being done with them, but never forgetting them…

It is very confusing to be an artist

Insightful.

My work.

Where you can financially support me if you so desire (T-shirts included; please share all of these links).

I Really Don’t CARE If Other People Don’t Like My Work.

A Treatise on Stubbornness.

Fame.

Fear of being wrong 2.

I really don’t like being wishy-washy.

My biggest hope is to have correct convictions.

Ambiguity, or factually incorrect beliefs, terrorize me, and keep me awake at night, I fear them so bad, as I wish for my character to be one that stands up for what is factually correct…

The fear of being wrong.