Tag Archives: Joking

“The Garlic Journal” Announcement

Now is as good of a time as any to announce “The Garlic Journal”: a parody of “The Onion” that reads more like a personal opinion piece. Basically, I intend “The Garlic Journal” to be joke articles where I take extreme positions that I don’t honestly believe for comedic effect (or for satire). “The Garlic Journal” is intended to enrage and get people laughing (or, more importantly, thinking, if they are actually capable of it (which I am not anticipating to be the case most of the time. At least I’ll get a good laugh out of it all)). Basically, a more extreme version of what I already do.

I already pretend to be a monster on Youtube. I plan on continuing this, and trying to work on getting better with video (but it will be a slow process). The writing will be similar to that. I plan on writing joke articles in defense of pedophilia, racism, and political assassination, to name a few subjects. I hope that my human right of free speech will be protected. It is quite scary. The more oppressive the United States government becomes, the more terrifying it, obviously, is. And, based upon the way the current political climate feels among the citizenry, this trend is going to continue. Political correctness and statism are leading America straight towards totalitarianism, and it remains to be seen if the diligent minority will be enough to keep the Republic from collapsing completely. But, nonetheless, I am going to write joke articles. I’m going to express my natural human right of free expression. I hope that people will support my right, even if they hate my sense of humor.

And, for the love of God, I hope that no one finds out where I live, and that some maniac decides to try to kill me, as I know will be the case someday. I fully expect to end up like Larry Flint; or, at the very least, Martin Luther King Jr. Is it worth it? All I can say is that I feel incomplete without it. There’s a part of me that deeply wants to do this, in spite of the risks involved. There’s something about expressing your rights freely in the face of dangerous threat. It’s perhaps the most exhilarating feeling there is.

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” – Evelyn Beatrice Hall.

We mustn’t let the evil people win.

“Give me liberty, or give me death!” – Patrick Henry, March 23rd, 1775.

Offend the Fuck Out of People.

Advertisements

Truth in advertising.

I’m tired of deceitful advertising in the world, so I’m going to prove my ethical superiority by marketing myself as a crazy person.

Toiliban.

Every time I take a shit, I use enough toilet paper to make my right hand look like a terrorist.

It’s already been interrogated by the government six times.

Jokes.

Videos that can only be categorized as “Comedy”.

Where you can financially support me if you so desire (please share all of these links).

Offend the Fuck Out of People.

“Sphincter”

I care about assholes
Buttholes
And sphincters, too

In other words,
What I’m trying to say is:

I care about YOU

My poetry.

My poetry collection (and other things for sale) on Kindle.

Ra-ra I’m a loser.

What’s the point of getting your picture taken with attractive cheerleaders at sporting events?

Everyone knows you aren’t dating, because they have the fucking team’s logo on their chest, and have giant, goddamn plastic pom-poms (and I AIN’T talkin’ about her boobs! <3), and you can’t grab any good bits (because that’s rape. Duh), and you aren’t going to get any casual sex or the girl’s phone number or anything. I mean, are people that fucking desperate for attention from an attractive girl? Or are they that desperate to seem masculine in front of their friends that they want to show off themselves in a picture with a sexy woman?

Jesus fucking Christ

Boobs.

Boobs 2.

Videos that can only be categorized as “Comedy”.

NBA 2K15 Charlotte Hornets Franchise.

I may have just INADVERTENTLY discovered why I love dark humor so much.

I think that my intelligence is such that I can often predict where jokes are going to go, and, therefore, do not laugh.

However, the shock of dark humor produces the laugh from me, precisely because of its unpredictable nature.

I’m not necessarily saying that those who like non-offensive jokes are stupid.

But from my point of view, humor that isn’t dark is often dull. It feels predictable, and aimed at children, to me, even if adults are laughing (see “Jimmy Fallon”).

But the maturity and the surprise nature of dark comedy produces laughter from within me due to its extreme absurdity, and complete unpredictability.

It’s unpredictable because it plays on your emotions:

It purposely tries to make you feel bad, and then tries to make you laugh unexpectedly.

That’s good comedy, in my opinion.

Offend the Fuck Out of People.

Offensive.

Insightful.

Videos that can only be categorized as “Comedy”.

The perfect dick and cock’.

Gay stuff.

Videos that can only be categorized as “Comedy”.

Where you can financially support me if you so desire (T-shirts included; please share all of these links).