Tag Archives: Wickedness

Murderers in Heaven

If Christ has forgiven a variety of sinners of all different kinds of sins, I have to believe that murder and rape are included in these sins that are forgiven. That’s a really deep statement. I don’t recall a provision where murder, or rape, or any sin was deemed “unforgivable”. Perhaps I’m missing one. I seem to recall something about “unbelief” being the only “unforgivable” sin. But the thought of murderers and rapists being in Heaven is quite a profound statement. Statements like that help one truly grasp the nature of God’s forgiveness through Christ.

Some may see that as weakness on the part of the Lord, but let’s not forget about Hell. Of course, there will be those that will be punished. But that suffering would affect us all if we went there, regardless of what our sins were. “How do you think we’d feel if we were murdered? Or if one of our loved ones were?” Believe me, I completely understand your point. But hear me out. According to the Bible, all deserve eternal suffering, whether or not one ever murders. That’s quite interesting, isn’t it? Surely a murderer deserves Hell more than, say, an atheist, correct? But aren’t both classified as “sins” according to the Bible? That’s interesting. Does Hell have “layers”, such as in “Dante’s Inferno”? I haven’t read enough on the Bible to develop an opinion regarding how Hell is structured. I’m sure someone could send me verses to enlighten me on that fact.

Does the fact that we all justly deserve Hell make our suffering more “manageable” to us if we were to go there? Surely it’s “Hell” for a reason. Surely “Hell” means something. It means eternal suffering, correct? Well, regardless of one’s sins, I have to feel some sympathy for anyone that ends up in Hell. I don’t see how one could truly not feel sympathy for that person. According to my clearly amateurish understanding of Hell, it’s too horrific for there to not be sympathy felt. It truly shows the tragedy of evil. We all end up losing because of it.

I think it shows that we all share a common humanity as well. It shows empathy: we all deserve Hell, but none of us want to go there. I think that truly says something about humanity and love, even if some of us do murder. Clearly, murder should be dealt with. On Earth, it makes sense that murderers should be stopped when they murder, whether through imprisonment or death. An eye for an eye, afterall, is the ultimate sign of “justice“. It’s much harder to truly condemn someone to Hell in your mind when you realize that everyone justly deserves it. It makes you realize that God has forgiven you, and that even the perpetuators of the worst crimes imaginable can receive sympathy. They do deserve to come to justice, but there’s certainly a tragic element involved from multiple standpoints. The most obvious (and deserving) tragic elements are the people upon whom the crimes are committed. Then, it follows that their loved ones deserve sympathy (and even the loved ones of the criminal). But it is, understandably so, much harder to proclaim that the criminals deserve sympathy. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be overwhelmed with a desire to kill an innocent person, but I realize that people like that exist. It makes me sad. I just feel sad about the whole situation. It is hard for me to be angry at the murderer. I completely understand the justified anger that people feel, but I myself feel more sad than angry.

It would make more sense if, say, only murderers went to Hell. That would make the concept of “Hell” an easier pill to swallow. But even if Hell was occupied only by murderers, I’d still feel sad, and feel sympathy. I’d still ask “Why do they feel compelled to murder?” If one truly grows up in a violent household, it makes sense to lament at the entire situation (but, of course, not excuse the murder. It should still be dealt with). But if one grows up “normally”, but still murders, there is still a sympathy that I’d feel for the murderer. It’s the tragic “Why?” that we all have any time a situation like this occurs.

However, according to the Bible, it isn’t the case that Hell is occupied solely by murderers. It is hard to accept the scope of things that makes one a sinner in the eyes of God. Why should I be punished for Adam and Eve’s doing? I, admittedly, don’t understand the scope of God’s justice. It may be hard for people to understand why I’m saying this, but I can accept that God is, in fact, just. I don’t know how to convince anyone with “evidence”, and I’m not going to. Ridicule me as a “crazy conservative” if you must. Ultimately, I think the debate between “believers” and “non-believers” is pointless. I think “live and let live” is a much better alternative. The fact that Hell is not composed solely of murderers makes me question a lot of my views regarding ethics, justice, and forgiveness. I certainly think there is a place for justice and a place for forgiveness. It is not up to me to tell someone when they should be enraged or when they should forgive, but this is merely my perspective on the topic. I’m clearly not a “divine authority”. It’s just interesting. I’m not quite sure why I’m so sympathetic. I just always have been. It’s just who I am.

As I said, I just thought this was interesting. I’m not passing any judgment: just bringing up a point. One that I have not noticed brought up, is all.

I guess the “moral” is that justice doesn’t always bring one pleasure. It makes sense to me that God does not take pleasure in the destruction of the wicked.

This, of course, says a lot about religious conservatives, but that’s a topic for another time (and yes, I understand that even they can be forgiven. I used to be one of them).

I will conclude by saying, of course, murderers should not be free to murder. But the point is that God is infinite in His existence. His way of dealing with things such as murder transcends what we, as humans, are able to do. I think that is extraordinarily profound. And I thought this all worth mentioning, as evidenced by the fact that I wrote this.

(As I go back and reread this, I understand how my understanding of things like this helps shape my “depression“. There’s some deep truths to smart people being more depressed than dumber people).


Free Will Contradictions.

Christianity videos.

A Philosopher’s Mind.

Highly Sensitive Mind.


Excerpts from “Torture”.

Excerpts from my fiction.


The wickedness of mankind has been discussed since mankind’s creation. There are historical words of far more significance than mine here will ever be. And yet, I still feel a desire to write them. Expression is a therapy. Even as an introvert, generally disliking people (especially listening to them), for some reason, I feel a desire to write these words, which will be read by others. The heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, it’s impossible to understand. It is difficult to know where to begin. For one, there are multiple types of wickedness. There are different perspectives about it. Perspectives within perspectives. Where does one begin? I guess I will begin just by stating the sense of hopelessness that wickedness produces within me.

When I was a child, I was introduced to the concepts of “evil” through religion and through television news. Both of these, around the same time, molded my mind view. I was immediately given a sense of hopelessness about the world. The news broadcasts of murder, rape, theft, etc. that abounded made me feel like the world was a terrible place. And then, sermons discussing how sinful that made us all made me a level even sadder. The world is evil, and we are doomed because of it.

What a fucking way to grow up…

My response to this was terror. For one, I was afraid of all of the murderers out there (I still am to this day: probably more fearful of them than most). And, of course, I was afraid of going to Hell. It was my DUTY to condemn all of the sinners out in the world. But, according to the religion I absorbed, I was also a sinner. We were all guilty. And we needed to ask for forgiveness.

What a terrible fucking way to grow up……

The problem with asking for forgiveness (at least within the context of the environment in which I grew up) is that you can never accept it. There is a perpetual guilt trip that is had over one’s wickedness, and one can never move on, and experience relief from that guilt and fear. So people live in fear and sadness at their own wickedness, and that is a tragedy. It is a tragedy that self-described Christians can’t trust that Christ died for their sins, accept it, and move on. My heart goes out to them, and I look forward to growing stronger in “the faith” as time goes on.

But even as a self-professed Christian, I can’t help but feel a sense of hopelessness about the world. I suppose I’m not so different from the doom-and-gloom naysayers of today (certain types of whom, I abhor). Perhaps it is just within my nature to be pessimistic. (I’ve already planned a future article going into further detail about my pessimism). With the childhood memories that I have described to you (not in vivid detail), combined with other pretty much traumatic childhood experiences, it is obvious to me why I am so pessimistic about the future. Despite the fact that she may read this, and despite the fact that she may still try to contact me about it, guilt trip me about it, avoid accepting the responsibilities of her actions, etc., a child can only sit out in the yard at night, waiting for their mother to come home, only for them to come home momentarily, then leave again, before they give up hope. I suppose that’s all I want to say about that at the moment, besides fuck her, and I’ll write about this some other time (once again, I’m sure she’s reading this, but I’m sure she’s going to deflect from her responsibility: and even if she doesn’t, I don’t want to hear what she has to say right now).

So now that I’ve given you some (extremely personal) backdrop into how my perspective developed, you shan’t be surprised at what else I am going to say. All around me, I feel hopeless. I feel hopeless particularly when I observe politics. I feel hopeless that historical words are ignored (even though I’m not a large reader nor student of history). I feel a sense of hopelessness when I see politicians praised Messianically (even though I love Ron Paul). I feel a sense of hopelessness at my own contradictory nature, at the ignorance of majorities, of the corruption of politicians, at the wars they create (that large numbers of citizens support). All around me, there is justification for hopelessness. And that hopelessness, I feel.

Many religious words do not bring me peace. It’s no wonder, considering the torment they put me through for many, many years. I do not care much for religious words anymore, nor religious people. I do not care for the “yeah, but” moralists, who seem to think it their duty to provide to you things they think you haven’t thought of, but which are things you’ve thought of more deeply than they know. All around me, there are problems. The repetition of ideas that circle around. The ignorant level discussions remain at. The sense of moralistic self-righteousness upon the part of millions. There’s a lot to be hopeless about. (And that isn’t even considering “less wicked” things to be hopeless about, such as finances, etc.). There’s not a lot to look forward to on this Earth for me. A “wife and kids”, which many men are happy with, doesn’t interest me. A higher paying job doesn’t (necessarily) interest me. So much of the advice that people try to give to me doesn’t apply to me. And it’s hard to do things by yourself: particularly when you have such a sense of hopelessness about the world as I do. (If you feel like shit: good. I’m glad). All around me are things that don’t work for me. All around me are people eager to give me their inapplicable advice. Their “yeah, but”s. It truly is exhausting, and helps exacerbate that sense of hopelessness that I feel, introduced more than a decade ago.

Most of the religious perspectives about evil are absolute garbage. Particularly of the “free will” variety. Nothing provides a sense of hopelessness quite like free will baptism (except, perhaps, extreme poverty in a war-torn third-world country). Despite the fact that someone could say the same thing about my despair, the anxieties that come with religion are excessive, unnecessary, destructive, crippling, and, worse of all, in my opinion, depressing.

The only thing that has saved me is entertainment. The only thing that has saved me from this religious, observance-of-evil induced funk is entertainment. Making myself laugh. It’s all I’ve got to save me from crippling depression. It’s a bit terrifying to me that, at least to me, I sound a bit like Robin Williams. But at least it is terrifying to me, so that I don’t want to go the route he did. I am horrifically depressed at the world, and the only thing that can help me with this is occupying my time with things that do not produce that depression within me (so avoiding people is an ABSOLUTE MUST. I kind of hope that eating isn’t my coping mechanism of choice right now, as I’m consuming more “donut sticks” than are unhealthier than unhealthy).

In some ways, it’s no surprise that my sense of humor is so dark. If my perspective developed the way it did into what it did, and the only thing that makes me happy is entertainment, and few people can truly entertain me, then it makes sense that, as I said, I must make myself happy, produce entertainment that makes me happy, and, of course, the entertainment that makes me happy is going to be the entertainment that most applies to me; and me is that dark, depressing youth that I grew up in, what I want to save myself from, and what I use to actually do it with. So I do feel a sense of joy when I bring others down. I want everyone to know that the world at least can be a really, really shitty place. I think many know that, but not enough do, in my opinion (nor to the right degree: although it could be argued that at least they’re happy, and not depressed like me), and their stupidity and ignorance of evil just allows for evil to flourish all the more. It is important to me to make other people aware of evil, and of course that is going to “bring them down”: particularly if they’re ignorant. But it’s all for a good cause, in my opinion. Awareness of evil is the only way to bring it to justice.

So what I do is make myself laugh, try to be smart, make other people believe I’m funny and smart, and try to get them to give me money so I don’t have to do pretty much any other job which I believe will be shit. Doesn’t matter your suggestion: it’s shit. Regardless of what career advice you give me, if it isn’t a combination of writing, comedy, and video…it’s shit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article that will fade into historical obscurity, and will have no influence on your life whatsoever, when after the 15 minutes that it took you to read this, you will never think of this, nor me, again……

(For those of you interested, Stefan Molyneux has some interesting things to say about forgiveness).

Here’s my best friend’s opposing viewpoint on hopelessness.